for all intents and purposes
- i am NOT real
- i do NOT have a legal name
- i do NOT have a “face”
- Do Not Think About Me
- I Am Not A Concept
why saying “trans men are men” as a dismissive statement comparing them to cis men is harmful:
i was first wolf-whistled at 11 years old by a man in a passing car, and was frightened and sick to my stomach. the creeping, sickening dread that comes with realising men are beginning to see you as an object for consumption is terrifying. walking down a dark street with keys between my fingers, being touched suggestively by drunk men at social gatherings, consoling my childhood friend after she was sexually assaulted and trying to help her find the confidence to press charges - these were things i had experienced firsthand through having a “girl’s” childhood and adolescence.
6 months into hormone replacement therapy i continue to experience misogyny firsthand from those who perceive me in my day to day as a masculine woman. i experience homophobia both from those who perceive me (incorrectly) to be a butch lesbian and those who perceive me (correctly) to be a gay man. i experience transphobia from those who can place me as a trans man, who see my high waist and hint of breasts and pubescent stubble and hear a mans voice from my mouth. even when i pass as a man completely i have to be on edge, i cant speak to a cishet man without worrying that he will take issue with however he could interpret my appearance and confront it, potentially violently.
i am a man, but i was brought up as a girl, and that has intimately shaped the way i experience and portray masculinity. denying what i experienced growing up as a “girl” would be essentially denying things that made me into the person i am today. trans men are men, yes, but its a completely different experience of manhood, and equating it to a cishet male experience is not only objectively wrong but also harmful, as it ignores the struggle, isolation & marginalisation that comes with being a trans man
not to push this post but i really do want to foster some kind of understanding here bc theres a lot of assumptions and misconceptions about what its like being a trans guy from other people in the lgbt community and its really important to me to try and reduce that